Dealing With That Pesky Black Cloud
I'm going to be honest with you, I have started and stopped this blog post many times because I have a hard time even trying to figure out how/where to start. I'm going to pre-empt this by telling you I'll probably jump around a lot, bear with me.
I'm a 23-year old trying to figure out what I want in life. I have hopes and dreams of one day being able to have the luxury to work from home. I have a million ideas and ways I think I can make that happen. If I had to guess, you probably have gone through this too, or are going through it right now. As a millennial, I have so many aspirations because my parents have always told me anything is possible. But to make those things possible, we have to work hard, right? So why is it so hard to put in that work in the beginning? Or if we don't see growth immediately, why are we so apt to giving up and starting something fresh?
I believe that it is because everything has been right at our fingertips for the majority of our lives. The internet is a beautiful thing! However, it can be something that makes people's lives seem perfect and make everything look easy. But that isn't the truth. Things aren't easy. In fact, they are really damn hard. But that is where we learn and grow, we learn about ourselves, and life in general, when we go through the hard times. But then again, we look at others and think, "well it doesn't look like it was hard for them, why is it so hard for me?"
I see all of these creators and influencers on Instagram and through podcasts. I think to myself, I want that life. I want to be one of those people. And we get back to those dreams that will allow us to get to that point. I get sucked in to all of the "free tutorials" and "simple steps" of how to become an influencer. I look at those people, and I compare myself to them. I am sure I'm not alone in this, right? Lately, this is all I can think about. I think about how I can be different from them, and how I can create what they have, but according to my own experiences. Sometimes I think that the market for influencers is so saturated, that there's no chance I could make it. It is just this crazy cycle. "Can I do this? Yes." Two weeks later: "well that didn't go as planned, time to come up with a new idea." Over and over again. There are so many ideas and thoughts going on in my mind, how do I know what is going to help the most people, while also being profitable?
I want to create an app.
I want to create a clothing line.
I want to create a successful blog.
I want to become an influencer on Instagram.
I want to own a business: home furnishings or clothing?
I want a 9-5 where I can enjoy the weekends off.
I want to have a job where there is growth opportunity.
I want to be my own boss.
I want to write about fitness.
I want to write about fashion.
I want to write about anxiety.
I want to write about happiness.
See where this can start to get confusing, and a little too much??
But I take a look at myself, what is different about me? How can I provide others with hope and inspiration? Something that I believe sets me apart is all of my life experiences, and how I have gotten through them and come out stronger in the end. There is something that I haven't gone through though to prove people that they can succeed as well, I haven't had the success as an influencer or blogger or become insta-famous. So how can I tell people how to do that too if I haven't even done it myself?
So I keep on pushing, I keep working my full time job, and working on my "side hustle" on the side (makes sense right?) But then I think to myself, I don't want to work my full time job, I want to make my side hustle my full time hustle. See where this can get complicated? And to add the cherry on top, I'm dealing with my anxiety too.
I'm not telling you all of this to make you feel bad for me, I'm telling you all of this because I am here to say, I understand. I know what you are going through. You aren't alone in this. What we need to do is keep working hard, and know that in the end it will pay off. We can't keep getting stuck on this now part, even though it is so simple to do. It is so easy to get caught up in our dreams, and while we need to keep those alive, we have to be realistic. We need to recognize that we can't give up on ourselves. We are the only ones who can make our dreams come true (aside from God, but that is for another post).
If you've made it to the end of this, first of all: thanks for sticking with me. Secondly, I just want to tell you that us millennials have to stick together and believe that we can make our freaking dreams come true. We just have to work for it.
Hi there! I'm Kelli and this blog is about my life with anxiety, and how I am learning to cope. Looking to God is the only way that I stay sane (well with some help from my family, pets, and boyfriend). My goal is to attempt to be a silver lining for all, myself included.