Dealing With That Pesky Black Cloud
I'm hoping that you sang that in your head just like it sounds in the Gilmore Girls theme. I sure do every time I read it! But this is not about Gilmore Girls, although there are many things I could talk about that relates to Gilmore Girls and my life. We'll save that one for another day.
Today I began a new Bible study. Havilah Cunnington has been the sole author of the two Bible studies I have done, and all I can say is she sure knows how to get you hooked right from the beginning! The first Bible study was called, I Do Hard Things, and it was a four week study that guided you through how to work through the hard things in your life, and how you are strong enough to overcome them. What an amazing first Bible study to do. I worked on this study alongside a group of amazing women, and each Sunday night we discussed the week together and talked about what we learned and how the study impacted us that week.
Day 1 and my second study, The Good Stuff, has already begun to impact me. The reason I chose the title for this post is because the title of day 1 is Lead and Follow. I'm sure you can guess what this day is all about. Every single day we must follow God and trust in His plan for us. But before I go into what has really impacted me on day 1, I wanted to share with you something Havilah said at the start of this study in the preface, "The Word of God, when used correctly and applied humbly, will taste sweeter than the sweetest thing you've ever tasted. It will leave you fuller than you've ever felt. The richness and quality will find no equal in your life". WOW! What an amazing start to this book. How true is that? God is already telling us that we must be humble and use His words for good; if we do so, we are going to have the richest life possible. There truly is no equal feeling as to when you fully feel the impact He has on your life, and when you fully trust in Him and walk with Him each and every day. He does not want to control us, He wants to love us freely and allows us the opportunity to be responsible for our actions and CHOOSE to love Him. What an amazing God we serve!
But we cannot serve Him if we do not trust Him fully. At the start of day 1, we begin with being led by the Spirit of God. He is leading us, and for us to be willing to follow, we must trust that He knows what He is doing. "The key to being willing to be led is trust". This not only relates to my faith as a Christian, but it is prominent in my relationships as well. I know that I am not the only one who has been hurt in their past. And that breaks our trust with others, even when they were not the ones who hurt us. It is a hard battle we must fight to learn to trust again, we must see the good in people and know that God is putting them into our lives for a reason. We must continue to trust in people, and in God that there is a reason for that season of our lives.
God wants us to have a fruitful life, one with joy and happiness, love and hope. He promises us that if we sow good seeds, He will provide us with a good harvest. How hard can this be though? I mean, I know that sometimes it is just easier to throw away the seeds because I am not willing to fight for that good harvest. Sometimes it can just seem like too much. It's al to of hard work! But God tells us that we must believe that the hard work will pay off. Sometimes we stray away from that. We don't want to believe Him. We don't want to think that He is putting us through hard situations. There are so many times where I think to myself, "why would He keep allowing all of these hard things to keep happening in my life. Isn't he supposed to help me and make things easier?" But the answer is no. And sometimes that is really hard for us to accept. However, we must understand that He sometimes he will break us down, in order to grow closer to Him. I know this firsthand.
It has been what seems like a few hard seasons for me recently, and it doesn't seem like it is going to end anytime soon. Left and right, curveballs are thrown my way. Car breaking down. Having to get a new car. Work being really challenging. Trying to create something new in my life and finding out it is a lot harder than I was expecting. Seeing my family struggle with depression and health problems. It is a LOT. But Havilah reminded me today that, "this is wha tour Good Shepard does with us! He allows the world to break us down until we can't help but be dependent on Him".
Holy moly did I need that!
God reminds us that we must lean on Him in our times of struggle. He breaks us down to become closer to Him. I have not fully understood this until this past year, and it definitely explains a lot. While this has been probably the most trying year of my life, I have become so close to God. My faith has grown like crazy, and I can see Him working in me. I truly don't understand it; I am just in disbelief at how amazing it can be when you look at your life with a new light. That is exactly what has happened to me, I am seeing myself and my life in a new light. There are so many times in life where I have given into evil and stepped away from God. I wish I would have known then what I know now. I have found peace and self-acceptance; I have found a new confidence in myself that I didn't know was possible.
In 2013 I sort-of started my true journey with God by going with my Grandma Sue to purchase my first bible. I was interested in learning more, and I wanted to understand, but I didn't know how to get started. I was so nervous that I would get it wrong or mess up, that God wouldn't understand, so I didn't put my whole heart into it at first. What I recognize now is that God doesn't want to judge you; He isn't in our lives to tell us that we are doing things wrong, that he won't accept us for trying and failing. He is here to love us. To be so amazing that we trust Him with our whole heart. Once I figured this out, I dove right in. And once I began truly yearning to know the Lord, with my whole heart, I have learned so much about Him, but also about myself.
No matter where you are in your faith; what stage you are at, just know that He is with you. There is no right or wrong place to start, or continue. You could have messed up a million times, but God is there to forgive you and help you through. You just need to be willing to trust in Him.
I am so excited to continue on with this bible study, and to see how God works in my life each day for the next four weeks. If you are looking for bible studies, I highly recommend both of these.
Hi there! I'm Kelli and this blog is about my life with anxiety, and how I am learning to cope. Looking to God is the only way that I stay sane (well with some help from my family, pets, and boyfriend). My goal is to attempt to be a silver lining for all, myself included.